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Ships Log: Bars of Optimism - A Flapjack Based Survival Strategy (Recipe)

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Ship’s Log: "It Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time" – Peak District Test

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Ah yes, another meticulously planned exercise in self-inflicted suffering. This was the first big test I’d been training for. Six school friends and I were converging on the Peak District for a weekend of civilized socializing, so naturally, I decided to precede this with a personal odyssey of excessive elevation gain. Three major climbs, two of the top 100 UK cycling climbs, and one increasingly questionable life choice. It also seemed like the perfect opportunity to assess the national rail network’s commitment to accommodating bicycles—or at the very least, to see if my bike and I would be allowed on board without too much existential drama. Thanks to a rare stroke of financial luck, I had snagged a train ticket for just £15 to cover the 100-mile journey to Chesterfield. Reserving a cycle berth was mandatory but, in a shocking deviation from bureaucratic tradition, entirely painless. (Yes, that is a child's bike lock.) Demonstrating an uncharacteristic degree of foresight, I had...
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Chase the Sun 2025

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So this was it: the night before The Big One . The culmination of hundreds of miles, several chain lubings, and at least one spiritual reckoning with a jelly baby. Final kit check complete.  Weather forecast: unhelpfully hot. Morale: medium. Dinner? A tragic downgrade from Charlie Bigham's artisanal splendour to Sainsbury’s microwaveable mush, on account of the chalet’s medieval amenities. My wife, in a twist of either affection or sabotage, had also secured actual Bassett’s jelly babies. This would later prove controversial. The bike was freshly chain’d, rear wheel swapped due to a sheared spoke, and everything was theoretically functioning. Spirits lifted, I boarded the train south, joined gradually by a rising tide of cyclists until the HS1 carriage resembled a budget peloton. I met a fellow rider and, high on optimism and ignorance, told him I was aiming for a 16-17mph average. Reader: I did not achieve this aim. After a successful check-in and scenic trek to my digs on th...
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