Ships Log: Not Dead, Just Detouring: A Tale of Chain Lube and Crumbling Ambition

This was meant to be the big one — the 150-mile test ride. Instead, I’ve been harbouring some suspicious pathogen since Monday, and while I briefly considered riding through it like some sort of Victorian invalid on a penny-farthing, even I could see it was a terrible idea.

So, in a dramatic downgrade, I pointed my bike vaguely London-wards with the modest ambition of reaching Spoke Café before my legs gave out. Mission: toasted sandwich.

On the plus side, I’ve finally mastered the fine art of not over-lubing my bike. No more baptising the chain in oil like it’s joining a cult. After a good clean yesterday, I adopted a minimalist approach, and surprise: the bike runs better when it’s not impersonating an oil refinery.

The ride felt smooth. I even set a few PBs — though whether that’s progress or just tailwind deception is anyone’s guess. The sun couldn’t decide if it was attending or not, and I debuted both my new Castelli jersey and, critically, my Open run bone-conduction headphones.

Yes, I bought them from QVC. Yes, I’m fine with that. They’re the original version — more waterproof than the newer ones and allegedly better-sounding too. The audio still isn't concert hall quality, but compared to the tinny Bluetooth speaker I’ve been torturing myself with, they’re basically a revelation. 8-hour battery life, rapid charging, and no risk of being disqualified from public roads. A rare win.



After the toastie, my legs made it clear that we were not doing another 35 miles. So I diverted to St Albans, where I caught a train home and pretended it had been the plan all along. The scenic single-track detour was a fun mix of tranquil hedgerows and mild terror.

In the end: 50 miles, toastie secured, new gear tested, immune system still shaky. Here’s hoping next week brings the actual big test ride. 

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